There are three ways that Christians can misuse their tongues.

1. Deliberate Malicious Speech.  This is gossip and slanderous speech which is aimed at hurting another person.  It is rooted in selfishness.  It is designed to destroy relationships and break up friendships.
    
2. Rationalized Speech.  What makes this so dangerous is that it is self-deceptive.  Although it is based on the same motive as malicious gossip, this Christian has convinced himself that he is sharing this for the good of this person or for the good of God’s work.  Nevertheless, it has the same destructive results.
    
3. Innocent Speech.  This person does not necessarily have evil intent.  But, because he is unwise and insensitive at times, he says things that hurt other people.  We all have been guilty of doing this.
    

The Apostle Paul gives us some wise counsel in Ephesians 4:29 that will help us control our tongues.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV).

 

Before we speak to others, we should ask ourselves four questions.

• Will this be helpful to others?
• Will this build up others?
• Will this meet a need?
• Will this benefit those who listen?

If we take time to think about these things before we speak, we will glorify God more often by what we say and we will help other people.